Family consultations, mediation and counseling, supportive community connections
Caregiving can be unpredictable and stressful, so having others to depend on can make a world of difference.
Family Mediation and Conflict Coaching
Family mediation is a voluntary, confidential process that encourages family participation in the care of an elder loved one. It is a format that can be used for both planning purposes, and if necessary, to assist families with dispute resolution when there are differences. Family mediation is simply a problem-focused conversation among family members in the presence of a neutral non-family member, who facilitates the conversation.
Conflict coaching, like mediation, is both voluntary and confidential. It is an opportunity for an individual who feels “stuck” in a situation to consider different perspectives and different ways of responding. It may be a primary caregiver who feels overburdened with care responsibilities and feels no one is helping, despite asking repeatedly for help. There are several possible scenerios.
Caregiver Support and Connections
No one understands caregiving like other caregivers. Consider this opportunity to engage with others who know the challenges of caring for a loved one.
These virtual supportive community groups are not disease or condition specific. All caregivers across the lifespan are welcome. The groups will meet weekly via Zoom for a designated number of weeks.
Musings of a Mediator
As a mediator for families who are facing the many challenges of aging and chronic illness, I rarely have the opportunity to meet with family members until they reach the point where they are fighting with each other, they are angry, and they are unable to resolve their differences on their own.
Most families are unprepared when confronted with a life-altering diagnosis, injury, or frailty. Too many decisions are made in crisis mode and too many differing opinions result in family members at odds with each other. ‘Building the plane while learning to fly’ is not the only option, however. I am convinced that there is a better approach to managing the inevitable stresses that accompany both aging and chronic illness. Most of the time the focus involves the caregiver and the care receiver. I think it is time we brought ‘family’ back into the equation.
Aging and illness impact every family member, but they may show it in different ways. Some may become overprotective, some may distance, and some may appear indifferent. But the behaviors that I see surface over time assure me that no one is indifferent, or immune, to the process of a loved one losing independence and needing care.
I can already see the eyerolls from those of you with ‘difficult’ families. There is no doubt that families can be challenging (frustrating, impossible, clueless, selfish, etc.) There may be longstanding unresolved conflicts or estrangement among family members. These are unlikely to heal without a concerted effort by those involved. However, for many caregiving families - planning, inclusion, and honest communication can improve the experience significantly.
I will share specific ways that engaging family members in the caregiving journey can mean more support for the care partners, a shared understanding of the disease process, and a more manageable caregiving experience for all. For those of you without immediate family, we will explore the possibilities of developing a social support network.
I hope you will join me as we look at ways to expand the possibilities for added support in the caregiving experience.
Websites referred to in the Article 17A podcast:
New York Health Access- List of Pooled SNTs in New York State
Future Care Planning Services
sdmny (Supported Decision-Making New York
Informative Articles
When Caring Too Much Becomes a Problem (parts 1 & 2)
#1 Highly Dependent Adult Children- Failure to Launch Syndrome
#2 Taking it All on Yourself- Caregiver Martyr Syndrome
Family Meetings Next Steps: Tasks & Responsibilities
Family Meeting #2: Creating a Communication Plan for Caregiving Families
Family Meeting #1: Team Building
Who Cares? Why you shoud include family members in caregiving right from the start
Contact me about Family/Elder Mediation or Conflict Coaching
Meet the Mediator
Mary M. Berk, LCSW is a Certified Mediator and Family Mediation and Conflict Coaching professional with Lifespan of Greater Rochester. Family Mediation and Conflict Coaching offers services to families facing the many challenges of aging, chronic illness, and loss of independence. We offer a supportive structured approach to resolving differences and fostering collaboration and creative problem solving. The program is voluntary and confidential.
